My dream wedding, yes! That’s so perfect and really cool. Uhm, wait a minute? What does my dream wedding look like?
Lie #1: Your dream wedding comes true.
I grew up expecting life ahead of me but a wedding. I used to believe that life is just like a day. Live now, and don’t worry about tomorrow. Before, my thought of marriage was like, “If I get married, I get married. If I’m not, there’s something better God has planned for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fiance like a rock star to his guitar and like a star to a moon.
It is just that God determined the times set for them[us] and the exact places where they [we] should live [met].( – Acts 17:26) I had no idea that I would meet my fiancé.
The truth is, I didn’t have a plan. Like you know how people plan at a certain age? Have a career at 24, get married at 26, have 2 kids at 29, and buy a mansion at 35? It certainly is a perfect and rewarding plan for some people but for me, life is something else. What I mean to say is that I didn’t have a dream wedding like the florist must create a million-dollar bouquet, my wedding dress must be purple, I have to wear the Cinderella shoes a.k.a: glass shoes, the ceremony must be held on the beach during sunset, and the groom should wear a golden tuxedo with a purple tie on to match upon my wedding dress. And the lists are endless. Truth #1: I start to dream about weddings once I’m engaged to be married.
Lie #2: You can’t wait to get started, and you’ll plan the wedding the day or two after he proposed.
The day my fiancé proposed, he had to go home for Christmas( Canada-US LDR). The day after he proposed, I started to think about my freedom. Two days after he proposed, somebody set my panic attack button on. One week after he proposed, I told myself to let the truth sink in. Two weeks after he offered, I loosened up and told myself, “Oh la la, I’m getting married.” Truth #2: Planning starts after an anxiety attack phase evaporates.
Lie#3. You can plan the wedding all by yourself.
I used to believe #3 when I attended every wedding my friends had. I thought to myself, oh, that’s simple. I can do it. Guess what? Nada. I am not a superwoman. Asking for help won’t do any damage to my reputation. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, two heads are better than one. My friends and family love to help. Suggestions, creativity, and extraordinary skills are gems. My sister was very excited to put me on the guestlist before I did. Truth #3: No bride is an island. I can’t do it alone. I need everyone’s help.
Lie #4: You’ll have to spend more [$$$$] to have a perfect wedding.
Define perfect. Books and chick-lit movies have a way of telling the world what a perfect wedding must be like. Elegant Bride, Modern Bride, Instyle Weddings, and so on can definitely change a bride’s mind about her original definition of a perfect wedding. A bride who doesn’t have enough cash shouldn’t dream of an elegant wedding like that in a magazine. Truth #4: I don’t even have thousands to spend, but I will have a perfect wedding. What’s my definition of an ideal wedding? Let’s find out.
Lie #5: You don’t need pre-marriage counseling or a counselor.
If I genuinely love him, I am good to go. Why would I need someone to counsel with my upcoming marriage? I am big enough to know what’s right and wrong. Ha, that’s a lie Satan used to get me. Love is always there, and you know love is a choice. Issues are there too. And a wedding is entirely stressful. If I don’t welcome someone into my life and help me, good luck to me. Truth #5: Marriage is not a joke. Pre-marital counseling is a way of dealing with conflicts resolution before it’s too late.
Lie #6: A wedding is for the bride. Only!
Really? If the wedding is only for the bride, what about the groom? Shall I just go get married by myself? Maybe, I’m just making a fuss out of that statement, or I am just too dumb to understand. But here’s Truth #6: The wedding is for the bride and groom. Period.
Lie #7: The longer the engagement, the better/ or the sooner, the better
You need to have 365 days to plan a wedding. Says who? Here’s the hard truth about lie#7: There’s no rule about how fast or long the engagement is. I genuinely believe that if a couple can pull out a wedding in 6 months, that’s good. If 2 years, it’s still good as long as both are faithful and no issues resurface before the wedding date.
Lie #8: Your fiancé doesn’t care about planning a wedding.
Mostly, wedding magazines talk about a girl guide planning a perfect wedding too much. The do’s and dont’s and too many wedding etiquettes for the bride. And talks little about the groom. Do you know why? Girls are too detailed when it comes to planning their big day. Guys are too lazy reading those suggestions in the magazines, let alone choosing the right color for a tie. Do you know what a guy would like to do? Pay off the wedding, go to a tailor shop, wait for the big day, and get married. That’s it. Truth #8: If you’re the bride and you thought that your fiancé didn’t care, please read again, truth #6. Don’t let wedding planning fall entirely into your hands. Get him involved.
Lie #9: You’ll become an Obsessive Compulsive wedding planner
Actually, it’s not an excuse for being anxious and a worry-wart. What does the bible say about being anxious? Yes, you can read it in Matthew 6:34. The definitions of OCD and overboard stress about your wedding are totally different. People just throw the words so quickly without knowing what it means to suffer from such a disorder. Truth #9: OCD is a mental illness characterized by extreme and uncontrollable behavior of repeating the same activities repeatedly. If you’re the bride, you probably just worry a lot.
Lie #10: You are in control of every detail of a wedding
Truth #10: God is in control. Apart from Him, I’m absolutely powerless (John 15:5). Your role as a bride is to delegate work to your bridal parties so that your burden may lessen. However, this is not an excuse to become a controlling freak. Trying to take control of all details is a sign of worries that stop you from trusting God.
If I become one, I need to have a reality check. Did Peter say in 1Peter 5:7 to cast all anxiety on him because he cares?
Lie #11: Wedding is stressful. It’s okay to turn into a horrible bride.
Turning into a horrible bride, a.k.a: Bridezilla, isn’t part of what a woman dream of at their wedding. Bridezilla is a terrible word for an angry bride, a self-centered one, a ridiculously spoiled bride, and a woman whose behavior becomes outrageously impossible to define. The term bridezilla was formed and blended from two words; bride and Godzilla. Godzilla, a Japanese monster movie, was a dinosaur awoken by an atomic bombs test in the Pacific and destroyed/or attacked Tokyo city in Japan. That’s really scary! Truth #11: As a Christian woman, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” (Romans 12:2) Not what the world thinks.
Lie #12: It is your day.
Because it is my day, I will be the center of attention. Everyone should drop what they’re doing and focus on me. Yeah, right, sweet bride. Someone should smack my head and slap truth #12 on my face. Truth #12: Don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide in whatever you do. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves.